Traditional Love, or Just Love?

In the past few years, homosexuality has claimed a strong foothold in modern politics and media.  Personally, I never paid much attention to it until my best friend turned down the radio one day, looked over to me in the passenger seat, and said, "Lisa, I think you should know.... I like dudes." Since then, this issue has been very near to home for me, and my interest has grown a great deal.  

I know this video isn't exactly current, but I saw it for the first time when it popped up on my Facebook feed earlier this week.  During a public forum in the Iowa House of Representatives, this young man gives his very personal view of same-sex marriage from an insider's perspective.  I thought it impressionable enough to share.

The debate to legalize gay marriage has become more and more pressing in recent years, and the range of opinions is wide.  I've enlisted a few friends, who come from varying points on this range, to represent their views of the controversy.

"As stated in the “Defense of Marriage ACT, passed in 1996, I believe that marriage is the union of one man and one woman. I also believe that the individual states have the right to not recognize same-sex marriages licensed in other states.  This issue is not one that the Federal Government has any right to impose on the states. Requiring citizens to sanction same-sex relationships violates moral and religious beliefs of millions of Christians, Jews, Muslims and others, who believe marriage is the union of one man and one woman. While there are many conservatives who believe the institution of marriage should be defended as a covenant between a man and a woman, many more believe that the federal government shouldn't be dealing with the subject at all.  As a conservative, my main opposition to the push by gay rights advocates for a federal 'gay marriage' amendment is one of jurisdiction. A large majority of conservatives believe the gay marriage issue is a “states rights” issue since there is no explicit language regarding the subject in the Constitution. According to the Tenth Amendment, 'The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.'

"From the religious perspective, for conservatives who do oppose it, the issue has less to do with homophobia and more to do with protecting the Judeo-Christian view of marriage. From the social perspective, society has clearly and notably seen a downturn in the moral fabric of communities around the world as a result of the breakdown of the traditional family and traditional family values, which same-sex marriage contributes to.

"Most conservatives really don’t care all that much what private citizens want to do in the privacy of their own homes. It’s really more of an issue of social, moral and economical decay that worries me as a conservative. Conservatives like me, believe that civil unions would be a better way for the federal government to bestow benefits on couples that don’t meet the traditional definition of a marriage. This would allow the co-ownership of property, estate planning, visitation rights and decisions around terminal illnesses, etc… 

"Marriage is a sanctified, religious joining of one man and one woman to create a family and provide for them. There is no confusion about this and all the silly rhetoric in the world won’t change that."

-An anonymous, straight, conservative, 54

"As a young-adult gay male, I have witnessed and experienced many different viewpoints, controversial events and situations, as well as have lived in a time period where we have gotten to see some real changes in opinion by society, especially in America. Unlike the majority of young homosexual males, I am not in support of gay marriage, which could seem even more surprising as I was born and raised in the gay-infested metropolitan city of Seattle. Over the last five to six years, I have watched my friends, colleagues, and co-workers bash, hate, and discriminate on a person as a result of their perception of whether or not the person is gay. I have watched society and the media condemn homosexuality, and throughout my affluent high school, watched the word “faggot” and "homo" be thrown around on a daily basis. The reason for this behavior and perception on homosexuality is because of the vast majority of gay males who feel the need to express to the world their sexual orientation. Through one's voice, choice of clothing, hairstyle, and mannerisms, many males go out of their way to transform into the flamboyant gay male, changing everything about themselves once they come out to get the negative attention they want to receive. It is because of these people that society feels it is okay to attack the gay population as a whole. It's because of these people that young adults are taking their owns life, fed up with the hatred and discrimination towards their sexual orientation. These people, who may want to appear to be fighting for gay rights, are the ones feeding the stereotype on a day-to-day basis. Defining homosexuality, it is the physical, mental, emotional, and sexual attraction to the same gender. So for what reason do these homosexual males feel the need to dress up and act like females, when they are all aware that they are not attracted to females, and know that the people they would be interested in truly aren’t attracted to girls either? It’s mindboggling. Until this norm is transformed or further accepted, we will not see a stop to discrimination. The stereotype will continue to be fed. It’s selfish and unnecessary. I am going to leave you with this one thought: who truly, in their heart of hearts, would make the choice to be homosexual, or if presented with the decision to change, wouldn’t choose to be heterosexual in the blink of an eye?  Nobody wants to be different. And I can promise I would not wish the feelings, thoughts, or hurtful things I have been exposed to upon anyone. I can say in full confidence that homosexuality is not a choice, and something that takes the lives of many innocent individuals every day."

 -Charlie S., 19

"I can see how the topic of gay marriage is controversial. Traditionally, marriage has been between a man and a woman, which is what has been normal and accepted by our world for generations. The thing is though, that our world has evolved and so have the people who inhabit it. Gay men and woman have always been around. History can account many different individuals who have showed signs and practiced homosexuality. The difference between then and now is that people are much more open with being gay today than they have been in the past.           

      "Marriage, traditionally has been the union of a man and a woman who vow to love each other unconditionally, but our society isn’t traditional anymore. Everything about our society has taken a drastic shift. Being gay is only more common because people aren’t as afraid to be themselves anymore in a society that claims to be open-minded and accepting. If a man loves another man or a woman loves another woman, the main thing that should be focused on is the love shared. Love is the most powerful force on this Earth and it should always be celebrated regardless who shares it. Gay marriage is the union of two people who vow to love each other unconditionally. It may not be between a man and a woman, but it’s love, and that’s all that should matter. It’s time to turn the focus onto issues that are damaging this world because gay marriage is absolutely not one of them."

-An anonymous member of the gay community, 18

As for me, I would vote in support of same-sex marriage.  If two people have strong enough feelings for one another, they should be given the right to solidify that bond with marriage.  Denying them the associated rights, social and economic, goes against the freedom of choice promised by the U.S. constitution, even though marriage is not specifically addressed.  Allowing civil union but not marriage is a little too familiar to "separate but equal."  To me that's like saying, "Sure, you can ride the bus, but you have to sit in the back," or "We'll hire you, but we won't award you the same salary."  I'm not a gay-rights activist by any means.  But I will advocate for civil rights.  And homosexuals, just like any other citizen, should have access to these rights.